This week’s feminist food for thought…

1.

2.

Never thought about this. In a pretty heated post, the blogger of “Views From the Couch” points out that telling girls at a young age “he’s being mean to you because he likes you,” teaches them to to tolerate abuse, and give excuses for it. Read the blog post here.

Boyish Yearnings

I miss math and sports.

Sincerely,
Film student lacking in free time.

(P.S. I recognize this comment does nothing to combat gender roles… but I’ll blame it on being Monday.)

FemiFacebooking: a Loss and Win

Loss:

Win(ish):

I’ve never been so hot n’ bothered by a Facebook status. Sadly, my defense was mediocre. I wish I had been harsher, but I unfortunately erred on the side of not making things too awkward (the perpetrator is in my small student group that meets 10+ times a week). Damn that appeasing tone… And there’s so much more to be said too. I’ll consider it a win for speaking out. Oh, and forgive the spelling error.

ACL 2011 (And for the Peasants, Iron & Wine)

http://cidentertainment.com/home/acl2011.php

As noted in “Austin, TX: The Quite Fight for a Louder Future”, music is a big deal in the ATX. Our biggest festival exclusively for music, Austin City Limits, wrapped up last Sunday. I heard it was awesome. One day I’ll go. But instead of dishing out $200 for a three-day-pass this year, I just spent $40 on a Yim Yames / Iron & Wine aftershow.

I wasn’t planning on going to any concerts, but I couldn’t resist after hearing about Iron & Wine. After all, he is one of two artists to have made me tear up. The first was John Denver with “Leaving on a Jet Plane”, just after my mom had shared the details of his untimely death. “‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again…’ Oh the cruel irony! He left on that plane and never came back again! *sob, sob*.” I’ll add this was at five years old, lying on my bed, staring at his face on the album artwork.

So anyway, Iron & Wine’s “Trapeze Swinger” and “Walking Far From Home” have also got me. It’s more about the collective ambiance and message of the song rather than individual lyrics (with these two it’s bittersweet nostalgia and longing). To me, the first is a calm, dewey ode to a lost love, the innocence of childhood, and the ups and downs of life thereafter. The second is about a man who has died and his feelings of trepidation and appreciation as he sees scenes of life on his one-way walk to heaven (and other people experiencing similar feelings: “I saw kindness and an angel crying, “Take me back home, take me back home”… aw man…).

Anyway, the concert! It was good! Not great (which I feel like a bit of a jackass for saying), but it was my first “big” concert and I’ve definitely learned a few things. When it’s so packed, it’s important to strategically avoid certain people, e.g. the row of tall boys who said ‘fuck it’ to concert etiquette and stood in the front row, or the crazy inebriated woman swaying into you and pulling distracting antics like giving all of her friends massages. Also, I don’t know if it makes me a less worthy music-listener, but I enjoy music MUCH more if I’m familiar with it. Otherwise it kind of blurs together. That’s also why I always need to watch a movie twice in order to form a true opinion of it. So from now on, if I plan to go to a concert, I’ll study up on their albums in the weeks before. I was also not used to such an instrumental style from Iron & Wine. Brassy, I should say. And while I’m warming up to it now in my listenings after the concert (for instance I’m really liking this now), I was really hoping to hear more of the tender folksiness that I first fell in love with. As the concert was nearing its end, I prayed and prayed for one of my two favorites listed above, but alas, neither came.

On a final note, I really admire the genuine rawness of Sam Beam, both in personality and music. He’s a bit awkward, not a gregarious comedic performer by any means, but it’s endearing. The musical rawness I’m talking about can really be seen in this live clip I stumbled upon. He’s so exposed! Just him and his guitar on an empty stage singing a delicate song that requires so much voice control.

Anyway, now that I’ve analyzed the hell out of Iron & Wine, I’ll bid you adieu. But as a P.S. and to leave an umpteenth link, Yim Yates was great too. Check out this cover of George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord”.

What artists/songs do you have the strongest emotional connection to? Have any made you cry?

Collegiate.

It’s been awhile since I’ve given a general autobiographical update. Well, my past few months can be summed up by three events:
1. Co-op civil war
2. Trip home
3. Start at UT Austin

Co-Op Civil War
Oblivious to the bloodbath that was to come, at the beginning of the summer I was elected to be the house trustee, the person who runs our meetings and mediates any conflict. What ensued was REDICULOUSLY complicated, but I’ll spare you with an abridged version. Basically our co-op was very lax with chores last year—we used the honor system and no penalties were given out for missed/late/uncompleted labor. A lot of people didn’t like that and so when the new summer term started, they proposed a more complete system and it was passed by the house. Three veteran members were against this. Enter obscene emails, claims of a Nazi regime, undone labor out of protest, ripped down labor charts, personal arguments, officer resignations and more. Eventually one of those three acquired enough labor penalties for his membership to be reviewed by the house. This is when the proverbial shit really hit the fan. After getting through a few more aggressive confrontations, in the end none of the opposing side showed up to the review and he was evicted. That wasn’t the end though, his departure was pretty hostile, sprinkled with theft and vandalism. I was particularly peeved when I went to wash my car only to discover that all of the ends had been cut off the hoses. Anyway, I know it was negative in a lot of respects, especially because several friendships were torn apart, but there was some value in the experience, especially practice in calm mediation and standing your ground in the face of confrontation/intimidation. Seriously, this was some Marxist shit. Through a bloody revolution a new system arises.

Trip Home
In step with the mid-1800s, I was lucky to flee to the North in the wake of our civil war. In the wee hours of the morning after the member review, I flew back to my fair Illinois. Austin has been suffering a mother of a drought this summer (hear about the wildfires everyone?), so it was refreshing to see greenery upon landing. And man, how great dry 80’s/90’s feels. It’s like fall compared to our balmy 110s. As always, it was great to see family and friends. We had a nostalgic trip to the family farm where my uncle whipped out his recreational armory. It was ironic that I had to leave Texas for Illinois to shoot a gun for the first time. My dad will be coming down early November so it’ll be good to show him my neck of the woods.

The fam at U of I (I’m blatantly the black sheep here, Dad’s an alum and the other two sibs attend there now)

Start at UT Austin
I’m a Longhorn y’all! I was discouraged by many a co-oper last year about moving into the dorms. Why go from an interesting, diverse living environment with good eatin’ to a naïve, cafeteria-induced cubicle? But alas, I am regressing out of my desire to get at least a taste of the “traditional college experience.” And I figure by starting off this way I’ll feel more connected to the university for the rest of my time here.

So on August 19th I moved in. I was a bit disappointed at first because my dorm is pretty anti-social. It has a lot of older students in single rooms (my theory is that many are traumatized sophomores recovering from bad roommate experiences). Plus the dorm itself doesn’t have common area/is pretty disconnected. But this’ll just have me seeking friends in different areas (class, work, clubs, etc), so that’s a bright side.

I’m glad I’ve had two years of life experience before starting college. I’m more comfortable with myself and new situations, but I think one of the biggest things is that I’ve really stopped comparing my life to other’s. I think that hindered me in the past. Even if I wasn’t conscious of it, at times I’d be less present in the moment and more anxious that I was missing out on things by trying to judge how other people collectively lived their lives. It’s so much easier to just relax and do what makes you happy.

It’s funny, I think deep down my original dream would have been to go to a small, northern private school with ridiculously beautiful falls, but in going with the flow, here I am at a 50,000 student university in the middle of Austin, TX. But now it feels right : )

Stay tuned for collegiate anecdotes!

View outside my window:

Humble abode:

Feminisim, Deux.

Here’s the follow-up post that I hinted at in “Fear of the FemiNazi.” It’s a short look at some big feminist issues.

Sex
Girls have the responsibility of being the “gatekeeper” when it comes to sex since guys “can’t help themselves”. Thus, overwhelmingly more pressure is on the girl to stay “pure”. When they do lose their virginity, their value goes down, like a car off the lot. After all, girls who sleep around are sluts, but guys who sleep around are players. Despite the pressure to remain pure and virginal, girls are also expected to be sexy, or are otherwise plain/ugly and undesirable. Catch-22.

If a young woman (god forbid) decides to be sexually active, she is backed into a corner concerning safe sex. She is seen as a delinquent if she requests birth control (and in some states is even denied it or first needs parental consent). But on the other hand, if she doesn’t have access to birth control and unfortunately faces pregnancy or abortion, she’s even more scorned. Once again, Catch-22.

Beauty
Our airbrushed, superficial pop culture is obviously detrimental to women. We are held to an unattainable standard by men and ourselves, causing anxiety and self-hatred when we can’t meet it. Deviations from the standard are not considered uniquely beautiful, but instead something that needs to be “fixed”. Enter nipping, tucking, tanning, waxing and the works. Let’s not also forget that men are considered attractive as they age, while women have to scramble to delay aging, sometimes out of fear that their partner will prefer and maybe even leave them for a younger woman.

Violence and Harassment
Women are subjected to an unbelievable amount of violence and harassment. Again, this is reinforced by our culture/media which objectifies women, normalizes violence and pressures guys to be ultra macho. The objectification brings apathy during violence and, in in a milder offense, makes guys think it’s OK to cat call women on the street, like they’re nothing more than public eye candy to be enjoyed. Just today I was honked at while standing at a bus stop wearing shorts and a t-shirt. No fun.

Work
Despite gains made during previous waves of feminism, women still make 76 cents to every dollar men do. We don’t move up the ladder as quickly as men, face sexual harassment in the workplace and face discrimination in other areas such as not being hired if an employer thinks we may become pregnant in the near future (not to mention the child care system in this country is deficient, we should really look to emulate Scandinavia’s model…) One interesting thought in Jessica Valenti’s book, Full Frontal Feminism, is whether or not professions traditionally held by women (teachers, librarians, secretaries, ect) are lower paid careers simply because women have historically held them. If there was suddenly a wave of men filling these positions, would the wages rise?

Work Outside of Work
Women do overwhelmingly more housework than men. I’m not sure about this statistic, but Ms. Valenti asserts that on average, women working full-time do more housework than unemployed men. And when women speak up about this, they’re perceived as stereotypically naggy.

Politics
Women have always been underrepresented in lawmaking. When they do run for office, compared to men, so much more attention is put into non-related matters. All through Hilary Clinton’s time as first lady, her presidential campaign and now during her role of Secretary of State, her wardrobe has largely been an object of discussion (where her political prowess should be instead). She’s been ridiculed for being too unfeminine, too “bitchy”. This also raises a Catch-22 (can women ever win?). If a woman is too feminine and mild-mannered, she’s considered too weak for politics–she can’t contend with the big boys. But if she’s strong, she’s considered a masculine bitch.

The fuuuuuuture…

I feel like these QR codes flooded society overnight. They’re everywhere! Posters, newspapers, food packaging… I even read an article about QR codes on gravestones which lead to memorial websites.

And though I’m often annoyed by advertisements and anything else attempting to shove itself in my face or tap into my subconscious, I’m kind of excited about these codes. To me, they represent a noticeable step into… the fuuuuurture. Think about it–ubiquitous portals from the real world into the virtual world!

And as far as advertisements go, these are pretty classy. They add more information without really adding more information. If you genuinely want to know more, the resource is there, but there’s no added text or imagery. If the QR code providers are smart, they’ll make a point to ensure the pages consumers are transferred to are clever and entertaining. Otherwise they’ll change from a new object of curiosity to another distraction that people will learn to ignore.

The QR codes also lead me to wonder how ubiquitous smart phones will be in the future. Will everyone inevitably own one? Will they become so mainstream and cheap that even the most frugal, minimalistic consumers will be swayed? If so, how quickly will this happen?

The times, they are a’changin’.

Fear of the FemiNazi

"Lipstick and Blood" by José Gómez Fresquet

So I’ve been dipping my toe into feminism. I just finished a book on the topic, in fact. And though I like what I hear, I’m admittedly a little hesitant to bring it up in conversation. Why? At worst, the word “feminist” conjures the image of an ugly, man-hating, hairy-pitted bitch. A kinder rendition might be someone a tad too uptight and politically correct to be much fun. These people are angry, and preach about issues that are not the most pressing in the world right now.

But no, I will wear my feminist status proudly. Ignorance and hatin’ come with every cause. This stuff IS important because of how wide-encompassing it is and how blindly ingrained sexist customs are in society. If you’re sitting comfortably, perhaps with some nibblies, I’ll give you a little taste.

Soon into my book, Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti, I began to wonder why feminist issues are not more widely known. Race and LGBT issues cause a lot of stir, and while they relate to large populations, women make up 50% of the world! “Stop being gay” has achieved recognition of being inappropriate, but “stop being such a girl” has not. Both imply that being gay or a girl is an undesirable quality.

That expression is a small, more harmless-sounding example, but it illustrates how when something is so widely used, it’s seen as normal and unnecessary or impossible to change. It’s ingrained to the point where it’s seen as “just how society is.”

A broader example–when a woman is attacked, sure no one thinks highly of the perpetrator, but the messed up thing is that a lot of the time more focus and blame is put on the victim, even if you don’t realize it. She should have known better than to have walked alone, walked in that area, or walked that late at night. But most importantly, she should have known better to do those things dress like that.

It’s unsettling that society is viewed as inevitably dangerous for women and so the onus is on them to be constantly fearful and on guard. Maybe there should be less self-defense classes for women and more programs for boys in school to combat our culture which objectifies women, bringing on apathy and violence.

And rape is never the victim’s fault. As Valenti says, “I don’t care if you’re a naked, drunk, passed-out prostitute. It doesn’t matter.”

“But women shouldn’t walk alone in shady ass areas at night in clubbin get-up…” I first thought to myself. But if we’re going to effect change, why do it in a way that oppresses the lives of the victims rather than targets the perpetrators? Everyone should have the right to just “be”. And plus, no one wants to be forced to live as a fugly, caged-in broad who must always travel in packs.

Tip of the iceberg, people. Perhaps a briefer, bulleted list of arguments I liked from Ms. Valenti at a later date.

Think you’ve never been hypnotized? Think again.

Well, you may not have been truly hypnotized, as that involves artificial inducement, but the state is the same. For instance, you know when you become really lost in thought and when you “come to” you realize you’ve literally been staring at the same thing for minutes? Or when you’re really reflective in the car and end up at your destination without having put any conscious effort into driving? Essentially, that’s a hypnotized–or “a trance-like”–state. It’s interesting when this happens because I’ve always viewed ourselves as kind of like conscious beings within robots (our bodies), and in these instances the robots are totally taking over on auto-pilot.

Anyway, I chuckled at my experience of this the other day. I was cleaning the bathroom here at the co-op, but was really thinking about the stuff that was going to happen at our house meeting that night. I went to put away my toothpaste and move it from the counter to my crate. Yeah, that never happened. When I “came to” I was probably about two minutes into brushing my teeth, despite having already done so about fifteen minutes before. And when I realized this, I stopped, smiled, and said through a toothpastey mouth, “What the fuck am I doing?”

Moon

This is a plug. I advise you to check out the movie Moon, directed by Duncan Jones.

My favorite thing is that it does what my main goal would be: to explore and reveal truths about real life concepts through entertaining plot ideas. I’d spoil things if I told you the plot idea behind Moon, but through it, real chords are struck on existentialism, our intrinsic need for human connection, how people change over time and the futuristic ethics of what happens when “machines” become human-like. (It’s true… I teared up a bit.)

The movie also leaves you wondering about things outside the script. About the implications of the world it creates. One of my favorite hypotheticals was written by a youtuber beneath its trailer (I would skip the block quote if you haven’t seen the movie and come back when you have):

About half way through the movie an idea started creeping into my brain. What if Earth didn’t exist anymore and Sam was the last human, caught in an endless machine loop? What if all the cargo was just dropped on a deserted planet Earth? Now that would’ve been a hell of an ending. The “old” Sam seeing Earth for the first time, a desert planet, as the streak of the capsule flashes across the sky and a new Sam emerges from sleep only to restart the cycle? If they did that… best SF ever.

And what’s crazy is that all of these things are explored through such a minimal script and aesthetics. The script is concise and each scene has a purpose and drives the movie forward. The music and set design is also very minimal but effective.

Finally the directing, acting and score are great. Props to Sam Rockwell.

See Moon . ‘Nuff said.